I’ve been cooking with garlic a lot lately, and it’s become a problem.  Garlic doesn’t pose any health complications, it’s actually been linked to boosted immune systems and reduced heart disease.  It isn’t the flavor either, garlic’s unique taste complements a variety of national cuisines and can punch up numerous bland dishes.  What makes garlic such a problematic little herb is its habit of lingering on the breath and body.  After some recent mincing left a garlicky odor on my fingers for what felt like days, I decided to do some research and solve this smelly predicament.

Before we really get into things, let’s talk about some garlic basics (in case there’s any confusion).  Garlic is an herb with origins in central Asia, and early traders spread the bulbs throughout the world.  Garlic is usually discussed in terms of “cloves,” which is just one single section of the fist-sized “head.”  This is an important distinction, don’t cook up a whole head of garlic (which usually contains a dozen or more cloves) when a recipe calls for a clove.  Garlic bulbs grow underground, but they aren’t roots.  They’re actually swollen leaves the plant produces to store energy for the next growing period (this is also the case for garlic’s relative: the onion).  The name “garlic” comes from another botanical cousin:  the leek.  “Garlic” is Anglo-Saxon for “spear-leek” (garlic leaves are slim and blade-like, unlike the broader, fuller leaves of the leek).  When shopping, pick firm bulbs without sprouts.  Garlic keeps well, and bulbs can stay fresh for six months.  Refrigerated garlic might lose a little flavor, so it’s best to store it at room temperature.

After a night of frantic researching, I found two chemical components responsible for garlic breath.  One substance breaks down during the digestion process and begins to produce a garlicky smell on the breath about 6 to 18 hours after consumption.  There’s no way to neutralize this odor or avoid this effect, so instead it’s a matter of planning.  If you’ll be doing some important face-to-face interaction in 6 to 18 hours you should probably pass on any garlic-heavy food.  Luckily, the other stinky culprit is easier to tackle.  The second chemical, which sits around in the mouth, or on the hands in my case, can be neutralized.  Sources, however, differ on the best way to counteract the smell.  My curiosity would not settle for these vague solutions so, with a little too much free time and an apartment full of test subjects, I soldiered on with some home experiments. 

According to my research, apples, mint, parsley, and coffee beans can all supposedly clear up garlic breath.  To test out these solutions, I fed my roommates and girlfriend some homemade garlic bread (I would share my grandmother’s recipe, but she’s a bit secretive when it comes to her cooking process and I do not want to test those waters).  With a few cloves of finely-chopped (the finer you chop, the stronger the flavor) garlic, the bread was very pungent.  Once stinking with garlic, my guinea pigs ate their respective neutralizers.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t find apples or coffee beans in the house, so pears and instant coffee were used as substitutes.  The pears didn’t really do much to combat garlic breath.  The coffee, on the other hand, covered the odor, but it also made my roommate gag violently (lesson: don’t consume instant coffee straight, ever).  Parsley effectively removed the garlic smell, but left its own distinct scent in the mouth.  Although parsley breath is better than garlic breath, it still falls short of fresh.  The mint left everyone smelling clean and garlic-free, but it also left their taste buds a bit numb.  The final verdict:  you can get rid of garlic breath, but it might not be worth the hassle.  Unless you’ve got an important meeting or a hot date, you’re better off staying stinky.