Christmas Day is here! I've already opened my carefully selected presents and I sit down before a true feast. In front of me is slow-roasted ham, whose gravy will top my hand-crushed potatoes. The green beans are overcooked to nostalgic perfection. Jalapeño cornbread casserole, biscuits, orange jello and moist stuffing are passed around the table. For the second year, I pour myself a glass of red wine and I have chocolate milk on the side for good measure. What an amazing assortment of proteins, fats and carbohydrates I am about to consume. But I consider myself a health-conscious eater—how cruel a punishment is the feast for my intestinal system? Should I be worried?

I reach for my fork to dig in when I hear a pop and feel a slight weight on my right shoulder. I glance down and find that a miniature Megan Fox has alighted there. She is wearing little more than a tiny santa hat and I can see a pair of gnarled horns poking through the white felt. Whoah, I think, this is not normal. I go back to eating and try to pretend that nothing happened. A few minutes later I peak back at my shoulder and there is Megan Fox, looking a little disgruntled. I hear another pop on my left shoulder. I turn to see a fat little man wearing a paper pilgrim hat and a shoddy gray suit.
 
 
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**Note from the editor- Due to the number of wonderful Thanksgiving articles we received, this one's a day late but gives us an excellent idea for what to do with all those leftovers!

Ingredients:
  • 2 Slices White Bread
  • 2 Dollops Mayonnaise
  • Several Pieces Cold Turkey
  • 2 Dollops Cranberry Sauce 
  • 2 Large Dollops Cold Stuffing
  • 1 Ginger Ale
Directions:
  1. At roughly 9:30 PM Thanksgiving night, right when you are considering the possibility that you might one day be able to eat again, decide that it is in fact time to leave the family viewing of _________ (insert your choice family movie for traditional post-Thanksgiving feast- for me, “Meet Me In St. Louis”). 
  2. Fight the “itis” (dangerous disease brought on by overeating and characterized by symptoms of laziness and sleep) to regain a slightly more vertical posture and make your way to the kitchen. 
  3. Toast two slices white bread (they taste the best when your grandmother or some other older matronly figure can cut it into triangles for you after toasting them- don’t ask, I’m just giving you the recipe for success- some things just work). 
  4. Once bread is nicely crisped and golden brown, add a layer of the thinner turkey left-overs (which hopefully have had a chance to chill nicely in the refrigerator while the first part of the movie was being watched). I prefer white turkey meat, but that is just a personal preference. 
  5. Add a light layer of stuffing on top of the turkey. 
  6. Add cranberry sauce to the turkey and stuffing piles. Apply mayonnaise to the top pieces of bread. Note that there must be a sufficient amount of both mayonnaise and cranberry sauce, as these act to combat the dryness of the turkey and stuffing. 
  7. Note that the sizes for ingredients are relatively arbitrary- this is both because in a food-drunk state it is impractical to take the time to measure, and because in a food drunk state I have never taken the time to measure my own portions. 
  8. That being said, this is a complex dish characterized by two key contrasts: temperature contrast between the cold left-overs and the warm, freshly toasted bread and texture contrast between the dry turkey meat and the moist cranberry sauce and mayonnaise. That being said, perfect balance in these contrasts can only be achieved through experimentation.  In the spirit of American gluttony on Thanksgiving, it may be necessary to test the combinations on a sandwich or two before even bringing the final masterpiece back to the movie room. 
  9. Finish sandwich assembly (there will most likely be overflow).
  10. I always find that a Ginger Ale is the perfect accompanying drink for this late-night snack, as it quiets my stomach down. 
  11. Be prepared to receive jealous looks when you re-enter the movie room. I try to by-pass these and do my duty as a good American and Thanksgiving celebrant by making several sandwiches (or perhaps delivering those slightly imperfectly balanced attempts mentioned earlier) for other family members. 
  12. They can get their own Ginger Ale. 
  13. Settle back down in a more horizontal position, let the “itis” resume its work, and enjoy Thanksgiving: Round 2.
Note: This recipe can be used for times other than 9:30 PM Thanksgiving night. However, I make no guarantees about its success.  In my experience, it never tastes as good. 
 
Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, and Enjoy!
 
 
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One very memorable Thanksgiving of mine involved an alternative to the classic roasted turkey. My grandfather, an adventurous and unconventional man, decided to purchase not only a single turkey but a bird comprised of a plethora of poultry. Turducken, the term for this excess of fowl, has recently become an interesting and tasty substitute for the typical Thanksgiving turkey dish. Made up of a de-boned chicken stuffed inside a de-boned duck, which is then inserted into a turkey, turducken could be considered a monstrosity! In addition, turducken can be cooked with unique variations of stuffing that include variations of sausage or the traditional stuffing depending on one’s preference and taste. According to National Geographic, “Hebert’s Specialty Meats” in Maurice, Louisiana has been named the birthplace where the concept of turducken originated.  The dish, introduced to American palates in 1985, has taken on great popularity in the past 25 years and has even inspired people outside of the U.S. to sample this delight.
 
 
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Thanksgiving is just around the corner! And we all know what that means—turkey (And lots of it!) The biggest myth surrounding the beloved holiday’s feature nutriment is the notion that turkey makes us sleepy. 

Individuals attribute this to the presence of L-tryptophan, one of many amino acids that exist in this excellent source of protein. After digesting the turkey meat, L-tryptophan journeys to the brain, via our bloodstream. The brain then converts this particular amino acid into the chemical serotonin. Serotonin is what is responsible for making us calm and sleepy. ‘Ah-ha!’ That’s why I have trouble keeping my eyes open after that huge Thanksgiving meal. Hold on just a minute. After conducting further research, it is now known that L-tryptophan is only capable of immediately making an individual tired if it is consumed independent of other amino acids. Scientists have discerned that turkey contains plenty of other amino acids, so then why do I always get so drowsy after my Thanksgiving meal? “Blame it on blood flow.” Eating a huge meal results in less blood flowing to the brain to compensate for the increase in blood that flows to the stomach, needed to help with digestion.